At the Fat Cat in modesto we had a troop of actors making my brothers birthday so amazing by acting out the rocky horror picture show which vincent was part of way back in my favorite days...on vincents birthday we spoke, we drank, we celebrated a day that is now more important than any other. i understand that my brother believes in me even when i dont...and it is that fact that makes breathing so difficult. the absolute pain and heartbreak that is losing the only guiding light in my life is unbareable..i feel honestly that i cant continue.one day i may look forward to the world that he made so pretty for me...i want to see him again..i want to hear his pretty voice again..i want all the things that make the world somewhere i belong..i cant. i dont want to see the world without vincent...i dont want to hear another piece of advice that isnt from the genius i know...i knew this would be so hard..so ill leave it at this...i love my brother vincent..and as long as i live, so does he.
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